KFC fights breast cancer with breast cancer

With it's latest attempt to pretend it gives a shit about health (see "unthink" grilled chicken) KFC releases the "pink bucket" campaign. Apparently for every bucket sold, 50 cents will be donated to the Susan G. Komen foundation. The support will likely go to finding links to what causes breast cancer like say... obesity as caused by excessive consumption of Double Down bunless sandwiches. KFC has baffled me before, but this one takes the drumstick. This is a truly shameless attempt to cash in on the success of the breast cancer awareness campaign that in no way lines up with KFC's brand and shows how absolutely clueless KFC's brand managers have been and continue to be. On an advertarded scale of one to ten, this one gets a ten piece. Figure it out, KFC. You're really pissing me off.

Flood causes shortage of Eggos

http://www.huliq.com/8059/88850/kelloggs-blames-flood-damage-lack-eggo-waffles

So apparently a flood damaged the Eggo mill. Meaning you and I are out of golden, crispy, waffly goodness for a while. Eggo said they are hoping to get their fine waffles back on the shelves before the end of the year. While this makes me sad (I always get Eggos for Christmas), I think it will only help the brand. Not only will Eggo see a sales spike when they're back up and running, it will add value to their age old slogan, "Lego my Eggo." "Like seriously leggo my Eggo or I'ma stab you with this fork. I haven't had one in months. Don't test me."

Introducing the Helgaas line of man spray

Here's a blog post about my good friend Nik. Nik has a lingering scent about him. Not a bad-smelling scent. Just a recognizable scent. Kind of a "well Nik is gone and I really miss him so I'm gonna go sit at his desk and smell him" scent. Not that I ever did that. So anyway, my old boss one day went over to Nik's desk and noticed it in his absence. That's when the conceptualization of the (nik) Helgaas family of colognes began. Nik is an avid woodsman/hunter. He is essentially a man's man who wipes his face with babies after devouring a slab of fresh deer kill - uncooked of course. Helgaas Morning Gunpowder is the latest in the Helgaas family of sprays. I hear it's available at Macy's.

"Christifuh" Moltisanti drinks 1800

I freakin' love Tequila. Love it! Especially the more expensive tequilas. I also love the Sopranos. Chris was one of my favorite characters. Sensitive. Deeply conflicted. Ambitious. Always wanting to better himself, but done in by his own inner demons in the end. How that relates to a premium tequila??????????

I guess what I'm getting at is that The Sopranos ascended to such a high pop culture status, that now the actors on the show will forever be remembered for the characters they played. This happens all the time. Remember the 80's sitcom, "Perfect Strangers?" Anyone remember Balki's real name? And while we might know who John Stamos is in real life, we'll always refer to him as his more popular, hair god of a counterpart by the name of Uncle Jesse.

Christopher Moltisanti doesn't make me want to drink 1800 tequila. It just feels lazy. Sticking a Sopranos character in an ad is right up there with using a puppy or a baby. After watching this I have no idea who 1800 is as a brand. Resourceful maybe? It pours me a shot. Unlike my lazy S.O.B. Patron Tequila. But if you ask me, I feel like "lazy" is more in line with tequila as an overall brand. Not to mention the shot thing is a total gimmick. Apparently a messy one, too, according to bartenders.

I'm not against putting Sopranos actors in ads. It just has to make sense for the brand. Chef Boyardee Raviolis? Perhaps. I could easily see Mr. Boyardee serving a bunch of demanding neanderthal mobsters sitting in a restaurant like Artie Bucco's. Hell, put Artie Bucco in a spot. That guy is gold. I don't know his real name either.

Michelin Man destroys Gas Pump in fight!

The Michelin Man has long been an advertising icon that intrigues/confuses me. He's memorable enough and he smiles a lot. I can get behind that. But I've always wondered why he looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Are his rolls supposed to represent tires? If so, tires are black, so why would he be white? Now that I think about it, I wonder if he's in any way related to the Pillsbury Dough Boy. (The doughboy lost weight in recent years, but that's another story). So back to the matter at hand. Michelin Man slays the gas pump.

The commercial opens up with this monster gas pump making Anytown, USA its bitch, sucking

the money from its citizens and tossing them around like salad. (Yes I'm aware I just made a salad tossing reference). So in the midst of the gas pump wreaking havoc, Michelin Man comes to the rescue and hurls some fuel-efficient tires at the pump, like Mario chucking fireballs at Bowser only the Michelin Man doesn't get to sleep with the princess upon defeating his nemesis. Up to this point I'm digging the production value of the spot. It's all CGI and kickass.

The problem I have is with the notion that by purchasing a certain brand of tire, I'll save a significant amount at the gas pump. The idea is that by having the "correct" tire on your vehicle, one that is the right size, properly inflated, etc. you will get a little better gas mileage. This is true. But you can't position Michelin exclusively as fuel-efficient tires. It's a bit of a stretch. The ending line is actually, "Michelin Energy Saver A/S Tires can help save up to 109 gallons of fuel." Could you be more vague? A month? A year? Over the lifetime of my tires? Is that per tire or for a full set of four? Do I have to wash my car regularly? Come on. Talk to me Michelin Man. And for god's sake put some freakin' clothes on.

Welcome!

Welcome to my advertising blog. In it I will most often talk about advertising and branding related things and offer my opinion as to why I like or dislike something. I invite anyone to challenge anything I say as I often talk out of my ass. I think you'll find my tone to be a bit smartass, a little ballsy (maybe a little too ballsy), but always brutally honest. Because let's face it, with social media the way it is, lying simply doesn't do the job anymore. Anyway, if I offend anyone I'm not sorry.