Flood causes shortage of Eggos

http://www.huliq.com/8059/88850/kelloggs-blames-flood-damage-lack-eggo-waffles

So apparently a flood damaged the Eggo mill. Meaning you and I are out of golden, crispy, waffly goodness for a while. Eggo said they are hoping to get their fine waffles back on the shelves before the end of the year. While this makes me sad (I always get Eggos for Christmas), I think it will only help the brand. Not only will Eggo see a sales spike when they're back up and running, it will add value to their age old slogan, "Lego my Eggo." "Like seriously leggo my Eggo or I'ma stab you with this fork. I haven't had one in months. Don't test me."

Introducing the Helgaas line of man spray

Here's a blog post about my good friend Nik. Nik has a lingering scent about him. Not a bad-smelling scent. Just a recognizable scent. Kind of a "well Nik is gone and I really miss him so I'm gonna go sit at his desk and smell him" scent. Not that I ever did that. So anyway, my old boss one day went over to Nik's desk and noticed it in his absence. That's when the conceptualization of the (nik) Helgaas family of colognes began. Nik is an avid woodsman/hunter. He is essentially a man's man who wipes his face with babies after devouring a slab of fresh deer kill - uncooked of course. Helgaas Morning Gunpowder is the latest in the Helgaas family of sprays. I hear it's available at Macy's.

"Christifuh" Moltisanti drinks 1800

I freakin' love Tequila. Love it! Especially the more expensive tequilas. I also love the Sopranos. Chris was one of my favorite characters. Sensitive. Deeply conflicted. Ambitious. Always wanting to better himself, but done in by his own inner demons in the end. How that relates to a premium tequila??????????

I guess what I'm getting at is that The Sopranos ascended to such a high pop culture status, that now the actors on the show will forever be remembered for the characters they played. This happens all the time. Remember the 80's sitcom, "Perfect Strangers?" Anyone remember Balki's real name? And while we might know who John Stamos is in real life, we'll always refer to him as his more popular, hair god of a counterpart by the name of Uncle Jesse.

Christopher Moltisanti doesn't make me want to drink 1800 tequila. It just feels lazy. Sticking a Sopranos character in an ad is right up there with using a puppy or a baby. After watching this I have no idea who 1800 is as a brand. Resourceful maybe? It pours me a shot. Unlike my lazy S.O.B. Patron Tequila. But if you ask me, I feel like "lazy" is more in line with tequila as an overall brand. Not to mention the shot thing is a total gimmick. Apparently a messy one, too, according to bartenders.

I'm not against putting Sopranos actors in ads. It just has to make sense for the brand. Chef Boyardee Raviolis? Perhaps. I could easily see Mr. Boyardee serving a bunch of demanding neanderthal mobsters sitting in a restaurant like Artie Bucco's. Hell, put Artie Bucco in a spot. That guy is gold. I don't know his real name either.